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January 28, 2008

Comments

meg

I am not the only one!

I want to purge anything and everything from the house. And then, I'm planning to purge the house (well, sell it and leave!)

I feel the same way that you do...such a waste of time, of energy, of a life and of hoping. All those thoughts, I have exactly.

I hope we feel differently about this at some point...but for now I am with you in bitterland.

chicklet

I don't know what to say as I've never had the kind of loss you have, but be as bitter as you need. Throw away everything you need. And be angry. Cuz for me, anger works, it helps, and it's sometimes the only thing when there's overwhelming sadness.

Pamela Jeanne

If there was any good reason to be bitter, I would say hands down this is it. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your experience that will take some time to recover from. If you need to break a few things, I've got some things that will smash up pretty well.

Thinking of you and sending you all kinds of support...

Aunt Becky

*hugs*

amber

I'm not sure what else, besides bitter, you are supposed to be? In fact, I think bitter is progress. Purge away. And, for the record, I am so, so sorry for your losses.

Sam

Purging does help, there's no doubt about that. At least in the short-term. I don't think it actually prevents you going through all the recovery stages though, unfortunately.

PS - I still don't have M's number in my phone as I "purged" it when we broke up (for 3 months) a few years ago. I deliberately don't replace it to remind myself of how close we came.

Sam

Purging does help, there's no doubt about that. At least in the short-term. I don't think it actually prevents you going through all the recovery stages though, unfortunately.

PS - I still don't have M's number in my phone as I "purged" it when we broke up (for 3 months) a few years ago. I deliberately don't replace it to remind myself of how close we came.

luna

as others have said, purging is good, it's like a cleansing. I think it's a good way to try and transition into the future.

as for your friend who says you seem bitter, well let's just say she's unclear on the concept... have you considered any kind of grief counseling? after about a year I felt like I still needed some help, and I found the validation to be helpful since no one IRL could really help with that...

wishing you continued healing and peace. ~luna

Artblog

Anger can be a good thing, its one of the five stages of grief and without it you can't reach the last stage.

Be careful between being angry and being bitter. The former I consider constructive and the latter destruction and a waste of emotions and energy. And its not part of the five stages of grief, for a good reason.

As Luna says, counseling is good if you feel the need for it, theres no shame.

Thinking of you.

XXX HUGS

geohde

I am so sorry that this sort of awful loss has to ever happen to anybody.

xx

J

Bon

your bitterness has good reason...and i hope the purge does some little bit to ease the hurt.

Bon

your bitterness has good reason...and i hope the purge does some little bit to ease the hurt.

kati

after my miscarriage in November, I threw everything away that reminded me of the pregnancy, except the positive tests. Those I keep in a box together with the others.

And how could you not feel bitter?

Dawn

You have every right to feel bitter...I wish I could offer up some words of wisdom, but I can't. I'm more sorry than I can say. I would like to point out, though, that journaling really could help. It doesn't have to be an art journal. After my dad died, I kept a journal in which I wrote to him, as if I were talking to him. I got out a lot of the anger and the hurt and it helped me to understand things better. It might help. And don't be afraid to go to a counselor or therapist.

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