We spoke to our RE about this last cycle. It went more or less as expected. What was he going to tell us after all? He doesn't understand either, he is also disappointed and frustrated and he has a theory about why it didn't work and several suggestions for us to consider if we carry on.
It always surprises me but there is a big difference between thinking something and having a doctor actually say it. I am staggering around today, off balance and lost, almost on the verge of tears at times and simply cold at others. I turn to my usual sources of support: am@zon and creative blogs. I read them as if they contain the essential truth, concentrating totally on the words and trying to absorb them.
I jump from a cookbook to the cookbook photographer's site to his column in The Independent on Sunday and I seriously contemplate making Pheasant, Cider and
Chestnut Pie in Mark Hix' column. Me, who never cooks game, who would be horrified to see a pheasant lying on my kitchen counter waiting to be "trimmed of all its meat and cut into 3cm chunks", but I read the details carefully as if I am going to do it. If I can make pheasant pie, I can do other things I have never done, can't I?